Haven is a Girls middle school youth group held at Holy Martyrs.

Contact the church office to learn more.


Haven Questions Fall 2019

Week 1: 10-1-19

  1. I’ve been hatred of someone.

Luke 6:27-36 English Standard Version (ESV)

Love Your Enemies

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic[a] either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

  1. Will haven and kepa students get together? Keep coming to Haven to find out!

  2. Are we going to be going over dos and don’ts in church?

That is a great idea! We will go over Do’s & Don’ts of our time in adoration. We will also write them down for reference!

Do genuflect (kneel & do the sign of the cross) when entering & exiting a church.

Do remain quiet, prayerful, & reverent

  • Read a religious book

  • Pray the rosary

  • Write in a prayer journal

  • Write a question

  • Write an intention

  • Go to confession when available

Don’t distract/disrupt the people around you

Don’t go on your phone

Don’t go to the bathroom (unless in cases of emergency)

  1. Can we have rosaries in the church during adoration? Yes! In fact your leaders are working on creating a Haven library! That way you guys can have access to religious books & rosaries in the church!

  2. What does God Stand for, like the word? – Alyssa

  3. Dear family, I don’t know how to stop being mean to siblings and family. I feel like in not good enough. – Alyssa

  4. How to stop overthinking (can this be one of the talks)? – Whenever you are overthinking a situation or feeling just stop in your tracks and give your worry to God. Instead of overthinking – talk about your problems with God or try to occupy your mind with something positive to shake that feeling. For the talk – we will be having a talk on anxiety!

  5. Can you please help me find God more in me? – Of course that is what we are here for! However, everyone finds God in a different way. To help you better, feel free to reach out to a leader so that we can help you specifically!

  6. What do you do when you are having a hard time at school and you feel bad if you tell your parents? – How do you tell your parents you don’t like school? Honesty is the best policy. You should talk to your parents in a serious way and let them know that you are struggling in classes. You can always talk to one of your cousins/older siblings if your parents have a hard time understanding where you’re coming from.

  7. Everyone bullies me for my clothes. I was telling my mom to buy me cuter and better clothes but my mom said my clothes are cute. What should I do? My clothes are ugly because everyone says it.

You do not need to follow all the trends and fashion sense that everyone is following. Be unique and be yourself and do not let people judge you for what you are wearing. Wear what you have and try to rock your outfits with an accessory or with a cute color coordination or something. Your clothes are cute and unique and you should not let anyone tell you differently. Try seeing if you can go shopping with your mom to choose clothes that you would like more. There is no need to buy crazy expensive or extravagant clothes for them to be cute. Come see one of the leaders about this if you need more advice or tips on the outfit you are wearing that day. I’m sure it will be so cute though.

  1. Is it okay if I get mad at my mom for simple reasons? How do I prevent it from happening?

Understand that your mom is a human and she just wants the best for you. Try to think of and treat your mom the way Jesus thought of and treated Mother Mary. He was very patient with her and loving towards her no matter what. Sometimes we get angry and our parents annoy us, but we need to understand that they are not our basic friends or siblings and we need to respect and love them and try not to get mad at them. When they do bother us, we need to try to calm ourselves and ask God to help us control our anger and try to calmly respond to our parents. If you are getting mad at your mom for simple reasons, then try to realize what you are about to do, pray that God helps you control your anger, and try to work on not getting so mad, especially for simple reasons. Ask God for the gift of self-control and the gift of Love to control your self, your anger, and your love for your parents. They know what is best for us and they do not do/say what they do/say for no reason.

  1. What is holding me back from Jesus? There can be many things that can be holding you back from Jesus like: -temptations -society -bad friends -sometimes going through struggles in your life, and you begin to question God -past sins. Each person is different, you just have to figure out what is holding you back personally.

Week 2: 10/8/19


  1. Why is it that we can’t wear leggings? – In the past semesters we allowed leggings but some girls were breaking the rules by not covering their butts fully so we made the rule to jeans only.

  2. Will we ever have nights with the boys. Not that they are cute and I want to get with them but they dont have drama so I like being friends with them. – Keep coming to Haven to find out!

  3. What do I do when I don’t know what to be? – As you get older, you’ll acquire new habits and passions, which will help you narrow down what you want to do/be in the future. However, God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us, so it is okay to not know what the future holds.

  4. Do we study about God or is Haven a place where people get closer to God? – As your leaders, our mission is to minister to you so you can develop a closer relationship with God, while also teaching you about God’s goodness. So, Haven is a place for both.

  5. Can we make skits more often on any topic we possibly can? I find them very funny and like them. – AWW, yes we will try to make as many skits as we can!

  6. If you’re a catholic and you have never had a baptism can you still go to Heaven? Yes, if you have not been baptized you can still go to heaven. Depending on your beliefs and actions.

  7. Why can’t I be confident in myself? Why can’t I learn to get along with my sister? You can be confident in yourself if you believe in yourself. You should stop putting all the pressure on yourself and start trusting in God. Know your worth and that you’re Gods creation. Pray to Jesus for you and your sister. We will also be praying for you.

  8. I feel lonely all the time because all my friends are fake. I try to make new friends but they think I’m not popular and not pretty. What should i do? You don’t need friends to tell you that you’re pretty. As time goes on you’ll learn a lot from people and you’ll come to the point where you’ll know what you want in a friend. Be patient and trust in the Lord. He’s you’re bestest friend!

  9. Why don’t you let us wear leggings to church even if our shirts cover our butt. Leggings are extremely cheaper than jeans so we should be allowed to wear them. – We used to allow leggings but too many girls broke the rules so now it’s no leggings!

  10. Why we no where dem leggings? – We used to allow leggings but too many girls broke the rules so now it’s no leggings!

  11. How do you start a relationship with God? I mean I go to church 4 times a week but still feel far away from God and I don’t know how to get closer. – Since your foundation of attending church/mass is already firm, sources outside of the church such as reading the Bible, listening to worship music, praying the rosary, etc. can strengthen your relationship with God. However, a relationship with God is more than just feeling. Even though you feel far away from God, that does not mean He is far. God is always near and at your side, even if you feel far away from Him.


Week 3: 10/15/19

  1. Why can’t we wear leggings if we cover our butt with our shirt?

             Because a lot of girls decide to not cover their butt, so were just banning         them 100%.

  1. What’s so bad about wearing leggings to Haven?

           It’s disrespectful to wear tight clothes like that to church. It’s not appropriate to show off your figure like that, esp in church. Who you tryna impress ?

  1. How many parties are we going to have?

           Keep coming to find out

  1. Can you guys make the haven shirts the same design as the haven Leader Print? IMPORTANT

We are working on it thanks for the suggestion, we will keep that in mind

  1. Who came up with the idea “Haven” and how did you guys come all together?

Father Matthew saw a need in the youth community and got to work and that’s how haven came about

Week 4: 10/22/19 –

  1. Can you please let us have leggings but wear a shirt/sweater that covers our bottom?

We have decided to ban them 100% this semester.

  1. Can we make our own skits in small groups?

That’s something we can consider doing on a night that we have longer small groups.

  1. So say you like this boy and he is in a different class than you and you just keep getting distracted and say he is all you need. What would you do?

At such a young age I would try to focus on your studies and not get so distracted in boys that it causes you not to pay attention. I would focus on school and becoming closer to my faith.

  1. Is it a sin if i want to date a boy but I don’t know if he has a girlfriend?

If you think a guy has a girlfriend & you’re not sure, you should find out. If he has a girlfriend & you continue to pursue him that’s committing adultery. (Commandment 9 – don’t covet your neighbor’s wife.) It’s also a sin to date someone without getting permission from your parents. (Commandment 5 – honor your father & mother.) The intention of dating is to potentially get married to someone, so if you’re not ready for marriage you’re not ready to date. To make sure you’re not falling into a mortal sin asses the above prior to entering a relationship.

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